3 March 2009
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed by stupidity, here are some actual label instructions found on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special.)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap
On a Swanson frozen dinner: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it’s just a suggestion.)
On Tesco’s tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of box): Do not turn upside-down.
On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot’s children’s cough medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On most brands of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (I gotta admit, I’m curious.)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
On a child’s Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a Swedish chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.