Bright Student

7 March 2009

It was the first day of school and a new student named Chen, the son of a Mainland-Chinese businessman, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chen, who said “Patrick Henry, 1775.”

“Very good! Who said ‘Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?'” Again, no response except from Chen who said “Abraham Lincoln, 1863”

The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed. Chen, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you.” She heard a loud whisper, “Screw the Chinese!”

“Who said that?” she demanded. Chen put his hand up. “Lee Iacocca, 1982.”

At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.” The teacher glared and asked “All right! Now, who said that?” Again, Chen said, “George Bush to the Japan Prime Minister, 1991.”

Now furious, another student yelled, “Oh yeah? Suck this!” Chen jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouted to the teacher, “Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, “You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.” Chen frantically yelled at the top of his voice, “Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001.”

The teacher fainted. As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, “Oh shit, we’re in BIG trouble!” Chen said, “Arthur Andersen, 2002.”

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